Listen to a companion tapping: (Download MP3)
I know that you matter.
You know that I matter.
So why don’t you know that you matter?
How do I know that you don’t actually believe that you matter (as much as I know you matter)? I know this because I “see” your behavior. I see your self-hatred, how you dismiss your feelings, how you apologize for your emotions, how you feel guilty when you have needs, how you “can’t” put yourself first, or even second.
If you want to know whether you believe that you matter or not, look at how you treat yourself.
If you believed you mattered, you might not stay in toxic relationships, getting repeatedly hurt and rejected. If you valued yourself, you wouldn’t put yourself “last” over and over again. If you felt truly worthy, you wouldn’t ignore, deny, or suppress your feelings.
If you did know you matter, you would get your needs met without being pushy or selfish. If you believed that you mattered, you would express your feelings with respect and stability, without attacking others or sticking around to be attacked. Your behavior would “show” that you felt self-esteem, that you are worthy of respect, time and attention.
So why don’t you think, feel or believe that you matter?
You learned these beliefs from how others treated you:
- Your needs aren’t important
- Your feelings aren’t worth listening to
- Your desires are less worthy than others’ desires
- You’re not worthy of respect, time or attention
And like all good students, you repeated these lessons and continued to behave in accordance with their “teachings.”
So are you ready to start behaving as if you matter??
In order to start acting and living as if you matter, you’ll need to heal your belief that you don’t… beliefs that sound like this: I’m not worthy, I’m not enough, others are more important, I shouldn’t be a bother, don’t worry, I’m fine…
Try these Tapping sequences below:
First measure on the 0-10 point scale how “true” this feels: “My thoughts, feelings and needs really matter…” It’s ok if your measurement is really low, (meaning it doesn’t feel true) that just means you need some solid Tapping to start living as if you matter!
Side of hand: Even though I was taught that I didn’t matter, I have decided to remember the truth about my value… Even though I learned that my needs and feelings don’t matter, I deeply and completely love and accept myself… Even though I was taught I didn’t count, I choose to remember that I do matter, and always have, even when they ignored me.
Eyebrow: I learned I didn’t matter
Side of Eye: I thought I was less important
Under Eye: I learned to deny my needs
Nose: I learned to dismiss my feelings
Chin: I don’t feel worthy
Collarbone: I don’t think I should take up time
Under Arm: I don’t believe I’m worth it
Head: I know that I learned this from others
Take a deep breath, and “measure” again – do you believe you matter more now?
Continue Tapping below:
Eyebrow: What if I do matter?
Side of Eye: What if I am enough?
Under Eye: What if I’ve always been enough?
Nose: What if my feelings are important?
Chin: What if my needs are important?
Collarbone: What if they were wrong?
Under Arm: What if I do matter?
Head: What if I’ve always mattered, I just didn’t know it?
One more deep breath… and try these positive statements below.
Eyebrow: I believe I am worthy
Side of Eye: My feelings matter
Under Eye: My needs matter
Nose: I want to act like I matter
Chin: I choose to believe I matter
Collarbone: I want to know I matter
Under Arm: I deserve time and attention
Head: I do matter, and I choose to behave that way