Listen to a companion tapping: (Download MP3)
I don’t want it to be this way!
That statement reflected the resistance I felt when I heard that one of my closest friends in the world died last week. I just didn’t want it to be true. But it was.
It’s what came up when a flight was canceled last year, when I hurt my knee, when I spilled my soup.
Resistance is the initial “no” that surfaces, almost before the actual emotion.
Allowing myself to be in that “place” of resistance was what helped me become more accepting of my friend’s death, allowing life to unfold as it always does, mysteriously and on its own terms. (Doesn’t mean I have to like it.)
Notice how often you are you in a place of resistance, and how often you honestly give yourself space for it.
What does resistance feel like to you?
I know how the tension of resistance feels inside my body and what chatter starts to rattle around inside my head. It definitely feels like “no, please no.”
Resistance might surface when you disagree with someone, when you hear something distressing, when you witness a friend do something you don’t like, or even when you have your own thoughts and feelings.
Maybe you don’t want parts of your life to be a certain way – your body, your health, the economy, COVID, the kids, a traffic jam, whatever.
Resistance – felt as emotional and physical tension – is such a common reaction to an event or emotion we don’t want to see, hear or feel.
Resistance blocks your energy, and admitting and allowing it gets the energy flow going again. Resistance causes a kind of chronic stress, while allowing gives you space to breath and just be with your feelings, no matter how scary or threatening they feel to you.
Resistance doesn’t make you wrong or bad, it just means your energy isn’t flowing smoothly and that you aren’t letting yourself notice and allow all of your reactions.
Tapping gives me the space to be resistant about anything, wherever I am, and then supports me as I move into a more peaceful, accepting space.
Notice a place or topic in your life where you feel “resistance” and measure how intense it feels on the 0-10 point scale, and then tap along with me below.
Side of Hand: Even though I feel this strong resistance in my body and mind, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway… Even though I can feel the resistance surfacing in me around this topic, I accept who I am and how I feel… Even though I feel resistance more often than I admit, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: I feel resistance on this topic
Side of Eye: I feel such stress about it
Under Eye: I can feel that resistance coming up
Under Nose: I don’t like the resistance
Chin: But it’s how I feel
Collarbone: I don’t want this topic in my life
Head: I feel upset and don’t want it to be true
Take a deep breath, and measure how high your resistance feels in your body and mind now, and continue Tapping below.
Eyebrow: I still feel this resistance
Side of Eye: I don’t want this to be true
Under Eye: I didn’t want this to happen
Under Nose: I don’t want this topic in my life
Chin: I can feel that heavy resistance
Collarbone: I feel the tension of resistance
Head: I just don’t want this to be happening
Take another deep breath and notice where you are now on the 0-10 point scale of distress about this topic you brought up for this exercise.
Remember, we’re simply accepting the resistance rather than trying to push it away or deny it.
Try this final positive round of Tapping:
Eyebrow: I’m happy I can allow myself to feel resistance
Side of Eye: I’m just giving myself space for resistance
Under Eye: I am where I am and that’s ok
Under Nose: I accept that I feel a lot of resistance
Chin: I accept that this is what I feel quite often
Collarbone: I appreciate who I am
Head: I appreciate all of me, even the resistance