Listen to a companion tapping: (Download MP3)
While it may seem easy to accept your positive feelings of joy, gratitude and happiness, how difficult is it to accept your negative feelings?
(Of course calling some of our emotions “negative” and others “positive” is a topic for a whole other newsletter!)
You might try, you might pretend, you might even succeed some of the time… but do you really accept the more difficult feelings of hurt, anger, guilt, fear, betrayal, embarrassment?
What’s important is to look at WHY you have trouble accepting them. You likely learned to avoid or deny them or you may have been taught that they were “bad.”
• What messages did you get as a child about hurt or anger?
• What would you fear if you did accept negative feelings?
• Why would you not accept them as much as your positive feelings?
• What would it “mean” to you if you did accept them?
Many of you were likely told “not to” have some of the big ones like anger and disappointment. Some of you were told these big feelings aren’t “nice” or “polite” in public or even at home. This of course creates a habit of denying these important feelings, which blocks the flow of energy and emotion and health in your body, mind and spirit.
Nothing good comes out of denial!
So then, what’s the point of accepting your negative feelings?
The point is when you do accept them, it will help you feel more stable, feel less volatile, improve your mood, allow you to accept others, and will help you solve more challenges in your life.
Of course one of my favorite parts of Tapping is the setup statement: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself…” and no matter what the research shows about Tapping on meridian points, this statement is critical to the success of the Tapping technique.
Measure how afraid you are of your negative feelings on the 0-10 point scale.
Start Tapping as follows:
Side of the hand: Even though I’m afraid to accept my negative feelings, they scare me, I accept who I am and how I feel about this topic… Even though I can feel my resistance to accepting my negative feelings, I at least deeply and completely love and accept who I am… Even though I don’t want to accept my negative feelings, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am and how I feel anyway.
Eyebrow: I’m afraid to accept my negative feelings
Side of Eye: I was taught to deny them
Under Eye: I was taught they were bad
Under Nose: I’m afraid to admit them
Chin: I’m afraid to admit or accept them
Collarbone: I’m worried about even acknowledging them
Under Arm: I got in trouble when I expressed them
Head: No wonder I try and push them away
Take a deep breath, and measure your fear again… on the 0-10 point scale. And keep Tapping below:
Eyebrow: I’ve been afraid of accepting my negative feelings
Side of Eye: What if I could just honor them
Under Eye: What if they are just… feelings, no matter what
Under Nose: What if I could just admit that I have them
Chin: Everyone has negative feelings
Collarbone: None of my feelings are “bad”
Under Arm: I’m allowed to feel all of my feelings
Head: I appreciate all of my feelings, even the difficult ones
Take another deep breath.
Keep Tapping until you truly “get” that admitting and accepting the more difficult feelings is your right and doing so will help every aspect of your life!