Terri’s Pain Relief: “I woke up one morning and realized I could move…”
By Carol Look, EFT Master
“Terri” first discovered tapping at one of Gary’s workshops in Chicago. She followed up with a few private sessions with me and a teleclass series. Sometime around the 3rd week of the class, she announced, “I woke up one morning and realized I didn’t have pain any more!” Terri’s case demonstrates how her emotional conflicts showed up in long-term physical pain, even though we never “worked on” her pain issues. Her case is also all about persistence and payoff. We thought the list would appreciate and feel encouraged by her success. Here are the details of our work together.
Terri suffered from low self-esteem and success blocks and wanted to work to release anger, resentment and fear in her life. She focused mainly on leftover issues from her abusive marriage, describing herself as suffering from “battered wife syndrome.” When she finally divorced this man, he announced to the courtroom “This is the sorriest day in your life because you will never be able to take care of yourself and everyone knows you will never amount to anything.” Terri said she felt completely humiliated in front of everyone and, of course, she believed what he said.
Terri’s husband had been controlling and verbally abusive throughout their marriage. “He pushed me around (emotionally) from the beginning.” She was expected to “keep his palace spotless” while he never lifted a finger. She knew she shouldn’t have married him, but realized in hindsight she was desperately trying to escape her strict and controlling family.
We applied EFT on her feelings about her husband as follows:
Even though he controlled everything I did, and I couldn’t stand it, I deeply and completely accept all of me.
Even though I feel rage about his behavior, I choose to accept how I feel.
Even though I felt trapped with him and couldn’t get away, I appreciate the freedom I enjoy now.
Even though I’m mad at myself for letting him treat me this way, I forgive myself for these mistakes.
Even though I was afraid to leave and thought I deserved it, I accept all my feelings and my behavior.
Even though I feel resentful and I shouldn’t have let him control me, I accept my feelings anyway.
Even though he completely humiliated me, and I’ll never forget it, I know he is in the past now and I can move on.
Even though he said I couldn’t take care of myself and I believed him, I release that belief for good.
Even though I was afraid he was right about me, I choose to know I can take care of myself.
Even though I thought I deserved the abuse, I accept that I was wrong about that.
Even though he said I couldn’t live without him, he was wrong and that’s ok.
I often gave Terri the assignment to repeat positive phrases while tapping such as “I deserve to be free…I love taking care of myself…I appreciate everything about me…I feel so good about my life…I accept all the joy that is available to me.”
Of course working on the issues around her marriage allowed Terri to think more about her upbringing which she had never really focused on before. Her parents were extremely strict and expected her to behave as an adult. She was never allowed to play with other kids after school— her parents thought it was a “waste of time.” She was expected to come home without participating in any after-school activities to work on the family farm. If Terri missed the bus in the morning for school, she was expected to stay home and work on the farm as well. She said “there was never any love in my home. I was always trying to get my father’s approval,” but never felt sure he loved her.
We tapped as follows:
Even though I couldn’t get his attention or love, I deeply and completely accept all of me.
Even though I always need to be better because I’m convinced I’m not good enough, I am realizing that I am valuable anyway.
Even though they didn’t really love me in ways I could feel, I know they cared for me anyway.
Even though I have tried to rebel against their control all my life, I forgive them and I forgive myself.
Even though I felt oppressed all my life, I choose to feel free now.
Even though I am surprised by how angry I feel at them, I forgive myself and release the rage.
Even though I felt trapped my whole life, I choose to enjoy my freedom now.
Even though I never got his approval, I choose to approve of myself now.
Terri tapped in between sessions while reciting positive statements such as “I love my freedom…I enjoy being free…I deserve to feel good…I did enough and am enough…I forgive them…I forgive myself…I deserve a good life.”
Three weeks into the teleclass, Terri announced to me and the class, “By the way, my pain has gone away!” (Please note that I didn’t even know she suffered from knee and back pain and had never ever focused on those symptoms.)
Terri had suffered with terrible knee pain for 15 years. She had surgery on both knees to try and relieve the pain, but it came back. One knee usually had pain as high as an “8” while the other hovered around a “4” most of the time. She often went to bed with ice packs and in tears. She also “couldn’t move in the morning” from the stiffness and pain in both her back and knees. While she occasionally notices slight knee pain if she overdoes physical activity during the day, she considers herself completely pain free.
Terri had two back operations 30 years ago for ruptured discs. She has been in chronic pain with her back with a discomfort level at around a “4.” After all this tapping for rage, hurt, fear and resentment, she reported that her back pain was a “0.” “I can’t believe that I can get up in the morning and get right out of bed!” When I asked her if she had “added” anything else to her life that might account for the pain relief, she said “absolutely not. EFT is the only thing I have done in the past 6 months.”
By the way, as it turns out, her ex-husband was wrong. Not only has she been able to take care of herself financially, many essential relationships in her life have improved and she resolved her fear of being controlled enough to accept a marriage proposal from a wonderful man who has no interest in controlling her.