By Carol Look, EFT Master
Clients often state that they have difficulty tuning in to their feelings, or that they can’t get a charge or “zzzzzzzzt” in their bodies when they think of a specific event. In this 5 part series, I recommend different techniques to help you and your clients tune in more deeply to emotions and memories to make EFT tapping sessions more effective. I will be covering our 5 primary senses: visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory & olfactory, and finally, a segment on triggering your emotions through the media.
Part 1 of 5: Visual
Photo Tapping
When clients have difficulty tuning in to their feelings, or can’t feel the “zzzzzzzzt” in their bodies when they think of a memory or event for tapping, they often think EFT isn’t working, as there isn’t much of a “before and after” test with the 0-10 intensity scale. Many of us need extra visual cues or stimulation to access this part of our memory, and family photographs are the perfect prop!
Take out old family photos and identify feelings, themes, incidents and thoughts that were going on when the pictures were taken. You might even take out your high school year book (since High School seems to be so fraught with conflicted feelings for many people…) or your wedding album, and tap a few rounds while you are looking at yourself. You may be shocked at how effective this is for bringing up emotions you thought had been “handled.” Here are some options:
Look at yourself in the selected photo objectively, and use words as if you are treating someone else…
Karate chop point: Even though he was feeling so vulnerable back then, he has a good heart and meant well…Even though he was so scared back then, he’s a great person and has really matured. Even though he was scared and insecure, I accept him and how he felt.
Eyebrow: He looks scared
Side of Eye: He looks vulnerable
Under Eye: He looks frightened
Under Nose: He must have been feeling very insecure
Chin: He looks so vulnerable
Collarbone: He seems so scared
Under Arm: He wasn’t getting any guidance
Top of Head: He seems so scared
Then use EFT in the “first person singular” the way we usually use it:
Karate chop point: Even though I was miserable during this time because of that incident, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though I was feeling so sad because of the rejection, I deeply and profoundly love and accept who I was back then…Even though I was confused and miserable because of what happened, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow: I look so confused
Side of Eye: I was so confused
Under Eye: I didn’t know what to do
Under Nose: I didn’t know how to behave
Chin: I didn’t know what to do next
Collarbone: I can see it in my eyes
Under Arm: I look scared
Top of Head: I look frightened
Notice your relatives in the photos and examine their facial expressions and body language. This should trigger some strong feelings and memories as well.
Karate chop point: Even though he was angry and insulted me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though he was drunk in that photo and I remember the fight we had, I choose to release the pain of it now and accept both of us…Even though I still feel hurt when I see this photo, I accept who I am and that he was doing the best he could at the time.
Eyebrow: I still feel hurt
Side of Eye: I feel hurt when I see this photo
Under Eye: I remember the feelings and the fight
Under Nose: I accept who I am and what he said
Chin: He was drunk and didn’t mean it
Collarbone: I accept my feelings
Under Arm: I accept his feelings
Top of Head: It was a long time ago and I accept my reactions
Tap for your family members when you see them looking unhappy in the photos:
Karate chop point: Even though she took her anger out on me, I accept her and myself at the same time…Even though she and Dad just had a fight, I can see it in their eyes, I choose to feel calm and peaceful…Even though we all look tense in that photo, I accept who we are and how we felt.
Eyebrow: She looks so mad in that picture
Side of Eye: She was angry at me
Under Eye: She was angry at him
Under Nose: I felt hurt that she took it out on me
Chin: She must have been hurt too
Collarbone: She looks terrible
Under Arm: I accept what happened
Top of Head: I appreciate that she was trying to do the best she could…
Karate chop point: Even though he was trying to control me back then, I accept who I am and who he is…Even though he was trying to control me my whole life, I accept both of us…Even though he seems angry at me in the photo, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: He was controlling me
Side of Eye: I resent that he was trying to control me
Under Eye: He was angry and trying to control me
Under Nose: He couldn’t control himself
Chin: So he tried to control me instead
Collarbone: He looks frustrated
Under Arm: I look frustrated
Top of Head: We both look unhappy
Stay tuned for part 2 of this series focusing on auditory sensations.
Carol Look, EFT Master
Part 2 of 5: Auditory
Using Music: Music can certainly lift your mood instantly, but it can also remind you of times that weren’t very pleasant. For instance, let’s say you had a tumultuous relationship with your father, and he listened to jazz music all the time. Try listening to jazz music now and notice what feelings surface.
Gary Craig’s favorite question is“What does this remind you of?”
Karate chop point: Even though this music reminds me of ____________, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am anyway…Even though this music reminds me of my alcoholic relative, I choose to feel calm and peaceful anyway…Even though hearing the music makes me feel uneasy, I choose to accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: The music reminds me of __________________
Side of Eye: I feel uneasy in my body
Under Eye: I feel uncomfortable when I hear this music
Under Nose: It reminds me of that person
Chin: I don’t feel good about these feelings
Collarbone: I feel so uneasy when I hear this music
Under Arm: I remember what he/she was like
Top of Head: I don’t feel settled at all
Many people remember what songs were on the radio during times of hardship in a relationship. Most people who have had an intimate relationship have feelings about “our song” which can bring back painful memories if the partner has left or died. So listen to the songs, and ask yourself what feelings surface. Is it deep grief? Anger? Unresolved resentment?
Karate chop point: Even though this song reminds me of when he dumped me, I choose to accept who I am and how I am reacting…Even though this music reminds me of that break-up, I choose to accept who I am and how I feel…Even though this song reminds me of all that hurt and break-up pain, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: I feel so sad hearing this song
Side of Eye: I feel such pain when I hear it
Under Eye: I feel as if it just happened
Under Nose: This grief about that time in my life
Chin: I feel the grief in my body
Collarbone: I feel so sad hearing this song
Under Arm: I feel grief about that relationship
Top of Head: I’m still mourning that relationship
Karate chop point: Even though I feel resentful when I hear this song because it reminds me of _________, I accept who I am and how I feel…Even though I’m still not over that relationship, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though I feel resentful and am not over this relationship YET, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow: I’m feeling grief about that relationship
Side of Eye: I don’t want to hear that song
Under Eye: It reminds me of so much pain
Under Nose: I feel so much pain about that relationship
Chin: What if I could resolve it now?
Collarbone: What if I could get over it?
Under Arm: What if I could feel good instead?
Top of Head: I choose to feel calm and peaceful.
Stay tuned for part 3 of this series focusing on tactile sensations.
Carol Look, EFT Master
Part 3 of 5: Tactile
TOUCH/PHYSICAL SENSATIONS
Many of our memories are tied to physical sensations. Cold or hot, rough or smooth, comfortable or uncomfortable feelings in our bodies. Traumas such as car accidents, attacks, or incidents of abuse become lodged in the body, or our cellular memory. If there is a chance that there are repressed memories regarding your childhood, or that entering through this door might cause too much discomfort, I recommend you consult a qualified EFT Practitioner to lead you through the following exercises (using a car accident as an example).
- Does the summer remind you of sad times?
- Does the cold weather remind you of a particular event?
- Do certain body parts seem over sensitive?
- Does the car seatbelt feel too constrictive?
Karate chop point: Even though I don’t feel comfortable with the seatbelt around my chest, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though the tight belt reminds me of ____________, I choose to feel alive and free…Even though the seatbelt is too tight and I can’t breathe deeply enough, I accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow: I feel restricted by the seatbelt
Side of Eye: I feel anxious feeling the seatbelt
Under Eye: I feel uptight about putting the seatbelt on
Under Nose: I don’t want to be restricted
Chin: I feel trapped under the seatbelt
Collarbone: I feel anxious because it’s too tight
Under Arm: I feel short of breath
Top of Head: I feel anxious about feeling trapped
Karate chop point: Even though this physical sensation reminds me of _____________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though being in the car reminds me of the accident, I accept myself and how I feel…Even though sitting in the car is bringing back frightening memories, I accept who I am and how I feel right now.
Eyebrow: I’m afraid to be in the back seat
Side of Eye: It’s bringing back bad memories
Under Eye: I feel uptight back here
Under Nose: I feel scared and trapped again
Chin: I remember feeling trapped
Collarbone: I don’t want to feel the seats back here
Under Arm: I’m afraid again
Top of Head: I want to get over this association with the accident
Weather changes and temperatures are also instant triggers for memories.
Karate chop point: Even though the cold air reminds me of the winter my mother died, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though I feel depressed every winter because it reminds me of grief, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am and how I feel…Even though I feel deep sadness when the seasons change, I choose to feel loving and accepting of myself.
Eyebrow: I feel so sad when the cold weather comes
Side of Eye: I feel grief when I feel cold
Under Eye: My sadness gets worse in the winter
Under Nose: I feel so sad when it’s cold out
Chin: It reminds me of her funeral
Collarbone: It reminds me of how much I miss her
Under Arm: I feel so much grief every winter
Top of Head: The cold weather makes me sad…
For people who have been attacked physically, there are obvious sensations that will trigger negative and frightening memories. This might be a time when readers consult a qualified EFT practitioner to lead them through these exercises. Of course you may substitute any body part for “neck” from the following exercise.
Karate chop point: Even though I can’t stand it when someone touches my neck, it reminds me of the attack, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though I don’t want anyone going near my neck, I accept who I am and what happened…Even though I still blame myself for the attack, I accept my feelings right now.
Eyebrow: I don’t want anyone to touch my neck
Side of Eye: I don’t want anyone to come near me
Under Eye: It scares me when someone touches my body
Under Nose: I don’t want to feel these feelings
Chin: Stay away from my neck
Collarbone: I’m afraid I will be attacked again
Under Arm: I don’t want to be touched there again
Top of Head: I don’t feel safe
Stay tuned for part 4 of this series on activating your memories through the “doors” of taste and smell (gustatory and olfactory.)
Carol Look, EFT Master
Part 4 of 5: Taste and Smell
Maybe you experienced heavy family fighting during the dinner hour and at the dining room table — this will certainly affect your taste buds!
- Are there any foods that you are repulsed by?
- What does the disgusting taste remind you of?
- What were you eating when you heard bad news?
- What restaurants do you avoid because of painful memories?
- When did your allergies start?
Also, many families control their children with punishments and rewards involving foods…if you’re good you get an ice cream cone, eat your vegetables or you won’t be healthy, no dessert until you finish your beans…
Karate chop point: Even though I feel repulsed by vegetables, and they remind me of ______________, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am…Even though the taste of _________ is disgusting to me, I choose to accept the associated memories, and I accept who I am and what memories come up for me…Even though the taste of ______________ reminds me of bad times, I choose to accept my emotions connected with these tastes.
Eyebrow: I’m repulsed by this taste
Side of Eye: It tastes disgusting to me
Under Eye: It’s leaving a bad taste in my mouth
Under Nose: It reminds me of someone I know
Chin: This bad taste in my mouth
Collarbone: I remember what I was eating when I heard the bad news
Under Arm: I can’t eat that food because it reminds me of ___________
Top of Head: My body is rejecting this food because of my feelings
Karate chop point: Even though I don’t like the taste in my mouth, I choose to accept my emotions behind this reaction…Even though this leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I accept who I am and how I feel…Even though I don’t want to eat what I don’t want to eat, and don’t make me!!! I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to eat it
Side of Eye: Don’t make me eat this
Under Eye: I don’t want to eat it
Under Nose: Leave me alone
Chin: I want to eat what I choose
Collarbone: I have this bad taste in my mouth
Under Arm: I don’t like the taste in my mouth
Top of Head: I have this terrible taste in my mouth
SMELL: Our olfactory memory is critical to our lives, and whether you encounter perfumes, shampoos, old houses or some other strong smell, odors may unearth memories that can then be targeted with EFT.
- Does the smell of someone’s perfume remind you of someone who died or someone you do or don’t love?
- Does her shampoo remind you of a time long ago?
- Does that stranger’s cologne remind you of anything bad?
- Does walking into the old house remind you of a relative?
Karate chop point: Even though the smell reminds me of a bad time in my life, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though his cologne gives me the creeps, I accept and respect who I am and how I feel…Even though the aromas are reminding me of my past, I choose to feel present and calm.
Eyebrow: I don’t like this smell
Side of Eye: I’m having a reaction to that smell
Under Eye: I feel odd when I smell this scent
Under Nose: I don’t like this smell at all
Chin: It reminds me of a bad time
Collarbone: I’m afraid of the memories
Under Arm: I don’t want to remember right now
Top of Head: I don’t like what this reminds me of
Karate chop point: Even though her perfume reminds me of a lot of negative memories, I deeply and completely love and accept my reactions…Even though I’m so sensitive to those odors, I choose to calm down my reactions…Even though I’ve always been over sensitive, and I wonder what started this reaction, I accept and respect myself anyway.
Eyebrow: Her perfume reminds me of bad times
Side of Eye: I’m so sensitive to chemical odors
Under Eye: I’ve always been “over sensitive”
Under Nose: Maybe I could get over this reaction
Chin: I feel sick when I smell these odors
Collarbone: I choose to calm down my energy system
Under Arm: I accept who I am and how I feel
Top of Head: I accept who I am and how I am reacting
Stay tuned for the final installment on Emotional Responses to the Media.
Carol Look, EFT Master
Part 5 of 5: Emotional Responses to the Media
EMOTIONS: Of course seeing the news, television shows or movies provide very sharp triggers for your emotions and interpersonal conflicts. I remember coming home for lunch one afternoon this summer and watching the television as they videotaped an airplane that had lost control of its landing gear and was running out of fuel. They kept focusing on photos of the trapped passengers and speculating on how they must be feeling. It ended well, but watching of course ruined my day. (While finishing this article, a small plane crashed into a building in New York City…) When I insist on watching, I find it very effective to tap on myself in front of the news.
While this is mostly a visual trigger, movies and news programs do a good job of engaging all your “channels” so don’t be surprised if you find other pathways for memories to surface when watching the television. There are always loud sound effects, images that make us “feel” something in our guts, and of course, the basic visual stimulation through color, lights and images.
Karate chop point: Even though the news is so agitating to me, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am…Even though I feel so anxious whenever I watch the news, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my reactions…Even though I feel this anxiety whenever I hear the negative stories, I choose to feel calm and peaceful.
Eyebrow: I feel so helpless
Side of Eye: I feel so out of control
Under Eye: The news makes me angry
Under Nose: The news makes me afraid
Chin: This anxiety in my stomach
Collarbone: This tension in my neck
Under Arm: I don’t want to watch it anymore
Top of Head: I’m afraid of all that I see and hear
I know that many of us are troubled by the war images and ongoing loss of life. Between newspapers, televisions and conversations, we can’t get away from it all. Definitely use the tapping as a way to soothe yourself if you can’t seem to get away from the images.
Karate chop point: Even though the images of the war make me angry, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am…Even though I can’t take the stories anymore, I choose to feel calm and peaceful…Even though I feel helpless and powerless, I choose to accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: I feel angry when I watch the news
Side of Eye: I feel scared when I see what’s happening
Under Eye: I feel upset when I hear what’s going on
Under Nose: These images are upsetting me
Chin: Why do I keep watching?
Collarbone: I have to know what’s going on
Under Arm: Maybe I don’t
Top of Head: I’m not helping anyone…
There are musicals, tragedies, comedies and shoot-em-ups. Choose a genre and watch it on television or rent a movie depicting something you could tap on. Use EFT to collapse the fears and associations. These movies are full of scenes and feelings that will help you cut down more “trees in your forest” as Gary would say. There is always the typical suspense feeling from chase scenes in movies that could be very useful as a trigger for people who lived in the midst of chronic stress when they were growing up.
Karate chop point: Even though watching the chase scene scared me, I accept who I am and how I feel…Even though I can relate to that character, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though I feel exactly what he feels, I accept who I am and how I feel right now.
Eyebrow: I feel what he is feeling
Side of Eye: I don’t like these feelings
Under Eye: I feel afraid of what’s coming next
Under Nose: I know something bad is about to happen
Chin: I can’t stand the tension
Collarbone: I can feel the tension
Under Arm: I don’t want to see what happens
Top of Head: I know something bad will happen
Karate chop point: Even though the tension reminds me of my childhood, I choose to feel calm and peaceful right now…Even though I feel the way I did as a child, I accept who I am and how I am reacting…Even though the tension makes me feel powerless, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to see how this turns out
Side of Eye: I’m afraid of what is going to happen next
Under Eye: I hate this feeling in my stomach
Under Nose: I feel queasy deep inside
Chin: I hate the suspense of this
Collarbone: I want to feel calm and peaceful
Under Arm: I want to feel back in control
Top of Head: I choose to feel back in control
While there are many more ways to trigger your feelings from old memories or events, this is a good start! I hope this helps,
Carol Look, EFT Master